Iroh's Heart-to-Heart Talk With Ozai in the Dungeon
by NobleTruths
Summary: Did Ozai ever feel sorry for what he did? Why was Ozai so angry and cruel? Why do Iroh and Ozai look so different? What really happened to Lu ten? Does Ozai deserve forgiveness? Find out the answers and more! (Whoever reviews this: I will read one of yours and post a review for you, too! Thanks!)


Iroh had wished he could have a heart-to-heart talk with Ozai for years, ever since he had come back to the Fire Nation after wandering the earth and spirit worlds in search of healing. He always wished he had somehow bonded with his young brother, but they were so far apart in ages, and had separate mothers and expectations, as well. Iroh himself had always trained to be the next Fire Lord, which he never wanted to be. He just wanted to revel with his many friends, go on adventures, and eat and drink good food. When Iroh was young, his mother had died trying to deliver what would have been his little brother, and the baby had died soon after. His father, Fire Lord Azulon had never overcome his heartache, but the rest of the world only know that Azulon's cruelty became worse than Fire Lord Sosin's ever was. Iroh was already married and heading his first company of soldiers when Azulon finally took a new wife. She was a beautiful young dancer who had taken away the pain of losing his first wife, but she, too, died in childbirth. The baby, Ozai, survived. Azulon had always succumbed to an angry sensation when he faced his second son. Azulon could never give this new son love, when he felt that the boy had killed his wife. After so many years of loss and grief, Azulon's second wife had brought him new feelings and made him feel young and hopeful again. When she died, any feelings of love in him died, too. Iroh was the only living person who remembered being loved by Azulon and seeing him happy and young. Everyone else, including Ozai, only found an old, strong-willed, angry Fire Lord, that no one wanted to cross. Ozai got the brunt of the anger because he looked like his mother, so Azulon was reminded of her whenever his son was in his presence. _"How dare he look at me with her eyes, when he's the one who killed her?"_

Iroh had witnessed his father's plunge into ever-spiraling depression as he grew, and he had been stunned to see how badly his father treated his little brother. He tried to play with Ozai and spent as much time as he could with him when he was home from campaigns, but it was precious little time. He regularly corresponded with his young brother's nurses and tutors as he grew up, and paid them extra money from his own pocket, secretly, to make sure Ozai had friends and activities to keep him busy. But Ozai was quick to observe, even at a young age, that he was treated worse than anyone else in his father's presence. When he grew into his teen years, he spotted even more unfairness. His older brother was given respect and honor whenever he came home from the wars. There were banquets thrown in his honor, and when Iroh finally had a son, Ozai had seen Azulon put his hand on his shoulder and heard him say "your mother would have been proud." Ozai had immediately left the lavish, crowded celebration hall and gone to his room, which, he'd noted, was as far as possible from his father's, and fought back tears. He had already grown to realize he would never be loved, but now he wanted more. He wanted to make sure no one else was ever loved, either. He told himself, _"Tears are for the weak. I heard a rumor my father shed tears when my mother died. Well, I'll be stronger than him some day. I'll never cry again; I'll make others cry instead." _

Iroh had been saddened to see Ozai start being cruel to his friends, rebellious against his father, and rejecting his attempts to spend time with him. He knew Ozai was jealous of him, but didn't know how to help. He used to send presents to Ozai from wherever he was stationed at the time, but now that Ozai was a teenager, that would seem demeaning. He kept telling himself, _Ozai needs to know why our father is so distant. He needs love. I'll have a talk with him next time I'm home._ But before he could get home to do that, there was an incident at the palace and Ozai was gone. When Iroh came back a few weeks later, the palace was still gossiping about it. Ozai had never been to his own mother's rooms before, even though Azulon had the servants keep them impeccable and unchanged since she'd lived there. They were right next to his father's, but Ozai was finally brave enough, or else fool-hardy enough, to pay them a visit when he turned sixteen. He had been holding a vase with paintings of dancers when Azulon walked in. The servants had watched from behind the door. The veins in Azulon's face popped out and his face turned red. He seemed to shake with anger. He looked like he might kill Ozai or explode. "Get out!" he yelled, menacingly. Ozai didn't flinch. He just stuck out his jaw and squinted his eyes and yelled back, "I have a right to be here. She was my mother!" Azulon was practically glowing with rage. "Wasn't killing her enough?! Now you have to desecrate all I have left?" Ozai's eyes widened. _All he has left? I'm left! I'm his actual son and these are just empty rooms! How dare he say that!_ Ozai felt the vase in his arms. A few seconds ago it made him feel closer to his mother; now it was just another object his father loved more than him. He threw it against the wall. Then directly into his father's face, he threatened, "Shall I desecrate more?" Lightening flew from Azulon's fingers, but Ozai swerved out of the way and the lightening crashed into the opposite wall, breaking furniture and setting the room on fire. The flames reflected on Azulon's face, and the shadows made him look insane. It was the most terrifying sight the servants had ever seen. Ozai escaped in the ensuing chaos, quickly packed his belongings and left on a Fire Navy boat, with all his personal servants and several soldiers. Ozai had boasted that his father had never found the Avatar, but he would.

The guards unlocked the outer door and then marched quickly down the hallway, out of sight. Iroh pushed the door open slowly. Ozai was sleeping on his side, facing the wall, on a thin mat at the farthest corner of the dark cell, with the dingy light of an oil lamp on one side wall, throwing flickering, dark shadows on the ceiling and floor, barely penetrating the darkness. It brought back sad, lonely memories to Iroh, of when he was in the exact same cell for two months. He shuddered and paused to let the sadness flow through him and out. "Ozai...Ozai!", he called gently, through the inner iron bars. The dark figure on the floor groaned angrily and turned onto its back. "Ozai, brother," Iroh called a little louder and more firmly. "Just give me a sign that you are listening." The dark figure turned away toward the wall again. _Well, at least I know he is awake and paying attention, _Iroh thought. "Ozai, I should have talked to you long, long ago. I should have taken you away from the palace with me when you turned ten. You could have handled it, but at the time I thought you were too young and our father might disapprove. Ozai, I need to tell you about your mother and why Azulon always treated you so badly. Brother! Your mother healed our father's broken heart, which had grown cold over the years between our births. We all loved her and she was the most beautiful dancer, almost exactly like K'aia Wu. He was actually looking forward to your birth and had called me home to witness your arrival. He even had a huge banquet planned in your honor. He had picked out your name himself, a strong name from an ancient family hero, Ozai the Defender of Dragons from an legend about an ancient evil Water Tribe king. Did you ever even know the origin of your name?"

Inside the cell, Ozai had turned again, onto his back. It was a sign to go on. Iroh could only hope this talk would help Ozai became the man he had been meant to be. "Ozai, brother! You were loved and wanted by all of us before you were even born. You never knew that my mother died in childbirth, also. It was with what would have been our brother, who died a few days later. You were the redemption baby for father and myself. He had a new wife and would have a new child to replace the one that was lost. I would have the brother I always wanted. If only she hadn't died giving birth to you. It is a common occurance, childbirth, but it takes many women, many babies, too. Didn't Zuko almost not make it? But the crazy fool blamed you! He couldn't stand the pain. He refused to cry or talk about it ever again. He turned his agony into anger directed at the one most innocent - you. As if any baby would chose to grow up without a mother. Ozai! The palace servants and I felt so sorry for you! You looked almost just like her. Everytime he saw you, he saw her. Do you understand? It wasn't your fault. He should have allowed himself to feel sorrow instead of turning it on you. Now you are doing the same thing, Brother! Just like our father did. You won't allow yourself to feel human!"

"Shut up!" Ozai yelled, pulling himself into an upright position and facing Iroh. "You don't know what you are talking about! I did kill her. Do you think I never heard that before? Every time a visitor came to the palace I heard the servants telling them to never mention my mother around my father because he'll get angry with his son, because his son killed his mother. I was too big for her; she was screaming in pain for hours; he was there watching the whole time. I'm glad he was there to see it, too! I've imagined the look on his face a million times. Why do you want to lie to me? I did kill her! I've killed lots of people!"

"Ozai!" Iroh's voice was pleading. "Please tell yourself the truth. You were a baby. How could it be your fault? You're just saying this because you are locking your feelings up inside and they are poisoning you. You turn the painful feelings of guilt, shame, sadness and longing for love into anger because they hurt too much. But you must allow the pain to flow through your Chakras in order to release it!"

"You want me to release the pain? You want me to feel it and start crying like a titty-baby? I'll give YOU some pain to feel. Let me see it flow through YOUR body! Let me see YOUR tears!" He paused. Iroh's heart stopped. Ozai was about to tell him something awful, he knew it. Suddenly he thought about Lu Ten, his beloved son who died on a battlefield, during his first and only campaign. _No, it must be something else!_, he thought. A buzzing noise started in his ears. Ozai's mouth was open in a sneer. "I had Lu Ten killed! I am responsible for his death too! I wanted to be the next Fire Lord and he stood in my way." He paused again, surprised that at that very moment he was not being attacked by Iroh. _That's not enough to get a reaction? What do I have to do to get him to kill me and get it over with?_ "Too bad I didn't have to kill you, too!" _He'll attack at any moment. He can't possibly let this pass. Look at the tears running down his face. I knew he would cry. But not me! I would rather die than cry! What the hell are MY eyes doing wet? _Ozai furiously rubbed the tears from his eyes like they were stood up, towering over Iroh, and grabbed at the bars between them. "Come on! Kill me! I have no power and you can win easily! Do you think I want to live the rest of my life like this? Get it over with! I just told you I killed your son! How can you just stand there? Did you have a heart attack?" His tears kept flowing and he kept trying to keep them off! He didn't want to feel wetness on his cheeks. _This is infuriating! I'm crying like a baby! I never cry! It's the stupidest thing ever! I wish I could kill myself! _"Come on! Do you have a weapon?" He put his hands through the bars, trying to feel near Iroh. He grabbed Iroh's robe and pulled it through the bars. Falling to his knees, he put his head down to the ground, his eyes pressed against the robe to soak up the tears. "Please, brother!," he pleaded, prostrate in front of Iroh. "Please kill me...I can't stand it!"

Iroh couldn't believe his eyes. He didn't think he would be this successful at getting Ozai to feel emotion, yet at what cost! However, he had already allowed the full measure of the pain of his loss to pass through him years ago. That had been the first step to healing. He had learned about the chakras and allowing one's emotions to flow through them and be released, when he was wandering in the horrible fog of mourning after Lu Ten's death. He had journeyed into the spirit world through the dragon's dens, when they breathed on him, and most of his questions had been answered, though the spirits warned that if all questions were to be answered, life would have no meaning. They let him come back to the earthly world on the condition that he not answer people's questions without making them work to find the answers themselves. That is what he was doing now. Letting Ozai find his own way to let the feelings flow. _So, my brother wants me to kill him. It must be the guilt chakra that is blocked the most, or maybe it was the first one blocked and must be the first one opened. Either way, he is going to have a painful experience ahead of him, if he is going to be healed. I cannot bring my son back, but maybe I can bring my brother back. I'll let him cry a little longer before I ease the pain. I hate to see him like this, but it is so necessary for him to get it out of his body._

Iroh still didn't say anything, though Ozai was having trouble breathing. There were no more tears to come out, but his eyes and throat were still convulsing. _If I saw a man like this,_ Ozai thought,_ I would_ _kick him to get him to stop._ He thought about the many times he had caused men and women and even girls pain. He saw their faces before him, hearing his own laughter and derision. Hearing them choke back the tears when he hit them or kicked them _(or burned them)_, his brain echoed back. _If someone did that do me now, I'd be humiliated._ "Iroh, kill me", he whispered, rolling around on the ground, in pain. "Kill me...kill me...kill me." Iroh reached for the key the guards had given him and put it in the lock. He opened the door and came in, sitting calmly in front of his brother. Ozai sat up and grabbed Iroh's shirt, then collapsed with his head in his lap. "Why don't you do it? Why are you just letting me keep suffering?" He sat up and they faced each other. "Are you waiting for me to say I'm sorry?" He paused. "I'm not. I had to become Fire Lord. Now what are you going to do about it?"

Iroh sighed, sorrowfully. "What I'm going to do is apologize." Ozai couldnt' believe it. "What?!" Iroh patiently continued. "I'm the one who should say I'm sorry, Ozai. I never cared about becoming Fire Lord, and I should have told Azulon to make you his successor. I knew that was what you wanted, but I only thought of my son, and not you." Tears were streaming down Iroh's face. Ozai was incredulous, "You would have done that? If I had known, I would have done everything differently." They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"I have one more thing I need to tell you." Iroh said gently. _Damn it!,_ thought Ozai._ I hate hearing other people's secrets. They're always painful._ "You aren't actually responsible for Lu Ten's death, Ozai." Ozai looked up in surprise. "The spirits have reasons for what they do. Maybe they wanted you to be the Fire Lord, or maybe Lu Ten was needed in their world sooner. Either way, it was his destiny to die on that battlefield." "How do you know that?" asked Ozai. Iroh continued, "I have many first-hand accounts from the soldiers and peasant farmers nearby. Lu Ten's company was ambushed while they were getting water from a well in a peasant village. He ordered his men to be careful where they firebended, so they wouldn't put any buildings on fire. But the earthbenders weren't careful. They were upsetting houses and carts and ostrich-horses. A little boy fell out of a cart and ran away from the earthbenders right towards a group of firebenders who were starting a flame circle to protect themselves. Lu Ten saw the boy surrounded by flames and he waved the flames away and ran over and picked him up. He ran back towards the peasants who had taken cover near the earthbenders, to give the boy to a woman who was running out to meet him, when the earthbenders hit him right in the head with a solid shot. The boy fell on top of him and his mother was able to retrieve him safely, before our soldiers scared off the earthbenders and recoved Lu Ten's body for me. I am proud of how he died. He died a hero and as long as that boy and his descendents live, his actions still live." He paused, then continued, "I don't think you planned that, brother."

Ozai was actually glad his brother had been able to live in peace with this thought for so many years, but now he needed to break Iroh's will so he would kill him. "You don't seem to have the imagination I do, brother. The man I sent to assasinate your son was an earth-bender." He paused to let that sink in. Iroh's heart broke, and new tears flushed out of his eyes. "I knew your son would play the hero, Iroh. You taught him well, how to be weak like that. Now, your honor requires vengeance. I'm waiting. Go ahead - you know I can't fight back."

"No! There is no honor in taking a life. I am honor-bound to follow what I know to be the best path." _Which is what?_ Ozai wondered. "Which is to love my brother like myself," said Iroh.

Ozai was stupified. _How can he sit there and refuse to act, when I just told him twice that I had his son killed? How weak is my btother? Is it weakness or does he love me that much? That is impossible. I can't understand him!_ He rose to his feet and clenched his fists. "Honor in love? That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard! You dishonor me by your weakness. I want you to leave, now!"

Iroh felt so sad that his brother didn't understand the love of forgiveness and understanding. He was angry to hear that his own brother, whom he had always treated with love and respect, had killed his beloved son; but he was unflinchingly dedicated to the laws of The Noble Truths that he had learned in the spirit world, and wouldn't allow his anger to stir his action. He didn't know how long he would be able to stand Ozai's conflict and aggression, though, so he decided the best thing would be to leave. As he stood to go, he spoke patiently. "Ozai, your closed mind makes me sad. How long will you suffer alone and refuse love? When I leave here, I will allow these new revelations to work through my chakras until I regain peace of mind, but you will still be here in your solitary torment. I am sorry for you!" Ozai turned away and leaned against the opposite wall, with his head down, impatiently waiting to be alone. Iroh, walked out and re-locked the barred doors, and with a heavy heart, left the prison cell, shaking his downturned head. As soon as he was free from the weight of his brother's presence, Ozai's strength left him and he collapsed down to his mattress and lay there for what seemed like days, feeling too heavy to move, oppressed by the burdens he wouldn't allow himself to think about.


End file.
